Laws of the internet: stifling under online blankets of irony

on being lost in translation or how I might be a terrible person hiding under post-irony online

This is going to be another one of those blogs written by the ‘perpetually online’ on being perpetually online but I’m going to have to write this because if I don’t start writing again, the part of me that wants to be known for her thots will not stop abusing the part of me that doesn’t want to fucking write. So welcome to another edition of my goddamn blog (grumpily)

What is irony? You’ve seen it. You’ve heard of it. You’ve performed it. You’ve ‘Is she joking? Is she being real? At this point, who fucking knows’ it.

Irony is nothing. It’s just jokes. Jokes on serious things that are so serious it’s funny. Jokes on serious things that are so serious it’s funny that it’s actually not funny how serious it is. It’s just jokes that are JOKES man LMAAO nooo I can’t hahahaahaha I’m dyinggg 😭😭 no literally cause I’m in deep pain, I don’t remember the last time I felt truly seen and I’m sick of trying to value myself without having someone else to see value in me so I deride myself to crumbs because my brain tells me I don’t deserve to be in all the rooms I have worked so hard to be in and I don’t know how long I can keep doing THIS —- explaining to you what a joke is, losers.

So just listen to JREG

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From a conversation I was recently having with a friend, I told him I think the reason my ex and I didn’t get along was that I thrived under 4435 layers of irony and he could at max deal with 1.76 at best. He was a pure and sincere man; a little taken aback by the fact that I would literally have an Instagram named - egirl.alt6969

He asked if I wanted to be an onlyfans-twitch egirl-stripper. I said of course not. But really, yes. Yes, but ironically. But no, not just ironically. Because I don’t want to be one, but I do want to normalize being one so I would actually become one if that’s what it takes to prove to you that it’s okay to be one - ironically OR unironically. [<br/>up]

I also told my friend sometimes I say things without even thinking about how I feel about them because I can always enjoy the post hoc privilege of later shunning it as ironic or meta-ironic. Which means, I say something and then think of what I actually feel about it- sometimes only on being asked, if at all — which I think is a little — I don’t know if I wanna call it that, isn’t it all of us like what argh fine — problematic 🤪

Also, no there’s no way that conversation happened (it did lmao)(but not like that) [meta]

But what if I’m actually a terrible person? What if, I’m terrible and now I have the tool to absolve myself of the liability of being terrible by simply pulling off the sword of ‘leArn to tAke a joke, you dimwit’ from my thick furry sheath of online irony, at every war of the keyboard.

When I say you don’t understand my copious layers of irony, what I mean is I don’t know if I’m a good person or not anymore and I am scared that you will find it out before I do.

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A quick wonky search on twitter tells me I’ve been a little too strung out on this entire lore of ‘irOny’ for a while akchually

Do I love irony? Yes. Do I consider (2+ layers of ) it one of the most superior instruments of the cerebrally gifted? Absolutely. But is it edging towards a grade of complexity that is muddling with my actual beliefs; deepening my idiosyncrasies in a design that is only mildly strengthening my connection to an obscuring niche and rendering me inaccessible and slowly detached from the more general community at large? Hmmm…nah, methinks me good.

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Anyway, now that we’re all stuck in this dense ironic wilderness, it’s best we learn the laws of the land

Poe’s Law

“Without a clear indicator of the author's intent, parodies of extreme views will be mistaken by some readers or viewers as sincere expressions of the parodied views. No matter how obvious it is that you are making fun of something unless you explicitly state that you are doing so, someone somewhere will think you are being serious.”

Wait is that you asking me to use emojis…unironically? yikes 🤪

Skitt's Law

"Any post correcting an error in another post will contain at least one error itsefl."

Cunningham's Law

"The best way to get the right answer on the Internet is not to ask a question, it's to post the wrong answer."

Danth's Law

"If you have to insist that you've won an Internet argument, you've probably lost badly."

Dickwad Theory or Great Internet Fuckwad Theory

"Normal Person + Anonymity + Audience = Total Dickwad"

If you’ve ever thought my twitter is pathetic, you should see my alt twitter

Law of the Echo Chamber

"If you feel comfortable enough to post an opinion of any importance on any given Internet site, you are most likely delivering that opinion to people who already agree with you."

What goes on twitter can make it on top of a selfie for an IG story but there’s no way what I speak exclusively to the fans in my echo Chamber of de-secrates can ever go out on Twitter. (Otherwarya verifies)

Munroe's Law

"You will never change anyone's opinion on anything by making a post on the Internet. This will not stop you from trying."

Wheaton's Law

(I’m sorry this one’s a little too cumbersome, even for me)

"Don't be a dick"

Wiio's Law

"Communication usually fails, except by accident."

That’s all for this one. I guess the point of this blog was I could be a terrible person (I am) and you would never know (you do) but we’re all still here - confused, but dyinggg 😭😂😭😭

Thanks for reading my thot. If you liked it — please tell me, omg why would you not tell me? If you didn’t, it’s okay not everything is supposed to be communicated.