I think my mom loves my dog more than me

I have never been around pets before in my life and I have always been obnoxiously scared of dogs since childhood (the kind that will call people to ask if they have a dog and when they say yes, make up an excuse to skip visiting)

Last year, when my siblings and I were geared to move out of the house almost around the same time, we were wary that our parents were going to lose their minds without us around because all my parents have ever known - is to be parents.

My sister thought the best recourse to that was to bring a pet home. So they brought a puppy home last year when I was still away - a decision I decided to take very very personally. Given my cynophobia, it almost felt like my family wanted to never have me back home and as stupid as it sounds, had chosen a dog over me.

Imagine living in constant anxiety in your own house because there was an animal around that you were not comfortable with. They reassured that I would get around him in no time and that I should visit soon while he was still a puppy so we could get comfortable with each other; but it was really hard to explain to them my qualms, and even more, the betrayal.

Because it’s not like I wanted to not like him. It felt cruel to be repulsed by a tiny fluffy goofball but it felt helpless to have no control over feeling that way. That’s what a phobia is, it is fear that is irrational. You cannot reason your way out of it

My siblings were very particular about the doggo not entering my room until my first visit and until I was fully comfortable. They were also hyper-conscious about giving up on their customary nefariousness and playing no tricks on me because of the very serious threat I had given my mother about never returning home. (She knows I’m capable of it)

What transpired in the next few weeks I can only describe as a drooly boopy spell of love. I have no recollection of how it really worked. All I know is, it happened slowly, and then all at once.

Today, our beautiful boy turns 1. He is the light of our lives and makes up for easily 70% of our dinner table conversations. He is the purest, most goofiest, goodest baby ever and I can’t believe every corny thing I have ever heard a dog parent say, is all so stupidly true. All dogs deserve every ounce of love in this universe, but especially mine!

Happy Birthday to Moka - stealer of scrunchies, chewer of chappals, protector of suitcases, and the bestest boy on earth 💖

Thank you for diverting my mother’s competitive streak from whose children are the worst to whose doggy is the best at all aunty soirées and for invoking in me an all-consuming love I didn’t even know I was capable of feeling.

I will strive my best to be that hip-cool aunt who spoils you with fancy treats on every visit, my entire life.

I will carry your heart with me, wherever I go (I will carry it in my heart).